Sunsets, Daises, Butter mellow...

School is about to start! My junior year! I have to mark it somehow!

Plus I blogged last year on the day of open house and guess what starts at 6?

So let's see! Miko now lives 3 hours away and miraculously we're doing pretty great. Skype is an amazing amenity, and we have never been able to see each other satisfyingly anyway. So far, so good. As far as school goes, I'm actually super excited for it to start. Despite the fact that I'm anticipating these next two years to be sort of tough, I am ready to get them underway so that I'm on step closer to college and adulthood. Besides, I can find a ton of ways to be happy even stuck in a high school classroom. Soccer is happening (as a matter of fact today is our kick-off scrimmage) and our new coach is light years superior to the previous. I look forward to it everyday and that's saying something.

And today I have:
Laid around like a great lump. Until Miko called and brightened things I was sitting around like a mental patient with hair and teeth un-brushed and PJ's still on. I needed to practice piano and read my book for school and the only thing I felt like doing was playing Minesweeper. Anyway, after our chat I got up and did all that stuff.
Then I decided that I felt like baking and I was craving baklava so I found a recipe, ran to the store and BOOM! Baklava! It's good, and I've eaten way too much of it. I need to stop.
Now I need to go make dinner for the fam since Mom had a work meeting. I will proceed to go to my scrimmage and hopefully not suck. Then Skyping with my suggadaddy and bed!

wooowoowowooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

postsecret.com

Musings.

Sometimes, words don't come to mind because one lacks inspiration but other times there are simply no words. In my case, the latter is relative.

Here's what I am able to put forth at this point:

• Good things don't fall into your lap and when you hurt a little for them you appreciate them better and their value increases throughout.
• Companionship is the greatest comfort/contentment/blessing in the world. With God, or with another human being, or just another breathing life, it is irreplaceable, often life changing, and indescribably amazing.
• Finding something, anything, that you know in your soul you want in your life is altering. A certain peace comes about knowing what you want for your self forever and pursuing it is incredibly fulfilling.
• Naturally you love someone with your heart but you can love them with your mind too. By saying that you will love someone for good you are consciously choosing to make them work. It may not be the passionate frenzy of love as we feel it but it's more infallible and committed.
• Appreciation for all things makes day to day life more magical and less painful. I have Miko, Mom, and Ethan, I have a body that works, and enough talent to make me useful. The rest, I can make work.
• Feeling close to humanity is good and one should always look for ways to connect to other people. They make things worth it.

Much has happened since I last wrote anything here and maybe these are things that I have allowed to completely wash over me in the meantime. I don't really know. I just am coming to realize that adulthood is everything mixed together and learning how to pull through and appreciating every person and every moment for what it can be.

Because I feel strong now I'll probably have a teary breakdown later. I think that this is part of at least my adulthood. And I will deal.

>

I feel like writing stuff so I will! There is nothing particularly exciting going on lately for me, but since when does that matter?

I'm donating my hair on Saturday and I'm really excited about that. I've been looking up a lot of information on the people who get the hair, and how the hair is processed, and blahblahblah. I was surprised a little bit. For instance, I thought my hair would be going to someone who was undergoing chemotherapy, but as it turns out that is probably not the case. Rather, the recipient will likely be someone (under the age of 21, usually a girl) who suffers from permanent hair loss. Imagine never having had hair, or ever having the hope of growing any. Especially when you're in middle or high school which sucks enough as it is.
I don't know. I'd been having a little anxiety about what I'd do with hair so short and how much I'd miss my big curls and seeing all that information just took it away. I felt like a pretty horrible person at that point, as you can imagine. Now I'm just really, really stoked which is coooool.

Hmmm. I got my ACT scores in the mail today. I got a 27, which I can't decide how to feel about. On one hand, I didn't study hard, or exert a lot of effort into taking the test. I didn't work hard before hand and so I don't feel prideful about it. I mean, I know I'm smart, I've always been able to do things easily so why is this any different? On the other hand, intellect is something I'm gifted with. It's what I'm best at, and I've always appreciated that aspect of my natural genetics. Soooo, I beat Miko's original score by one point, without hardly trying. But. I didn't work for it. It just happened. Besides that, I need a five point increase in order to be simply and easily set by graduation (hello, free ride that I need). So I...yeah. I still don't know.

I read a PostSecret that resonated with me. It said, "Sometimes I pretend I've time-traveled to the past and am re-living my life. Time with friends and family suddenly becomes a gift, a chance to be with them once more before they're gone again. " I realized that this is actually a very cool perspective, one that does make that time more magical and meaningful. I think I've used way too many 'sensational-speaker words'. I'm going to blame this on Dr. Lawson and move on.

I wish there was some way to explain with words how much having Miko means to me. I have such a friendship and bond with him and it's incredible how good for me he is. Being close enough to touch him gives me such a breath of fresh air and I am just in awe of how sweet it is that we've spent an eighth of my life together and yet it gets cooler and more fun all the time. I hate to gush but I have to because he's something that is always there for me in my mind.

I have twenty seven and a half days of sophomore high school left. I'm starting to be thankful for it. I've been craving more and more sleep and more and more warmth and lots of Amish country (that dream has not been forgotten, mind you) and movies with my boyfriend and dresses. I just have come to the point wherein I'm stretching thin and I want more strawberry ice cream in my diet.

And with that, I am going to sleep in my warm cozy bed because like I said, I need more snoozes.

I wish I was more cheerful and less lethargic, but alas.

Miko came over today and we cuddled and kissed and talked and it was wonderful. I relaxed most of the day and watched my favorite episode of Modern Family. I have eaten, so far today, the following:
One old-but-yummy granola bar, two massive pieces of banana bread, some french fries, 3 pizza rolls, way too many jelly beans, and two beef barbecue sandwiches. Not...that bad. I guess.

Last night I went to the movies with Alex, and Katja, and Veronica. We walked into the theater and there were only THREE(!!) other people there. Two of them were teenage girls who looked the OMG WE'RE BFF'S! part. The other, get this, was a man all by himself who did not look femininely inclined and DID look about....forty. I couldn't decide if this was really weird and creepy or really sad. Because what forty year old father figure-ly man would go to the movies at 5 in the evening to see a Nicholas Sparks book portrayed by Miley-freaking-Cyrus? Unless he was suffering psychologically or very very sad. Or a gay man who has yet to come out of the closet. I don't know. I'm still wondering at it.

I don't have much more to say. I have to go to school tomorrow and the next day and then I get have two days off. Hopefully one of those days I will get to do something fun and normal with my boy. He deserves it, and I think I might too. We don't have much longer. I mean that in an only slightly sad way. Mostly I am just gearing down and trying to do it the best I can to get as much time as I can. I will face what I have to face when I have to face it, and if I can't manage I will learn how to. If I can, then I will figure out how to do more than manage. I don't know, I'm just sort of in a weird and bored mood.

I have two track meets before the weekend and I'm starting to hate them. I don't run track to compete. I run track to be fit and healthy and to socialize with people my age. I know that sounds so grandma, but I AM grandma most of the time and it's true. I know I'm not a competitive runner, especially now that I am abstaining from steroid inhalants(my inhaler; it's more fun to say it that way :)). I am running because I don't want to be overweight or develop heart disease, and even though I love my coaches, I HATE how they make the team dependent on me, when I do not place well. But alas, it's still exercise and sometimes my winning personality (bahahaa) is enough to compromise my lack of athletic inclination.

I guess I should go to bed now even though I'm not tired and I can't fall asleep until Miko calls. And South Park is on tonight so it'll be late. Haha, he's worth it. :) Shower time!!

Night!

Spring!

I am on my Spring Break which has been a very typically spring-y one. Easter has been fun with a good lunch of yummy food, deviled eggs, an Easter egg hunt, a nice Easter service, and a yummy basket full of goodies. My allergies are eating my eyes, nose, and throat, and I almost need my windows shut except we don't have our air conditioners so it's HOTHOTHOT. Gross! But alas, this is all part of the season, and it is my favorite.

Anyway, tomorrow Miko has to leave for a trip to Columbus so that his parents can look at another place they want to move to. He's going to stop in and give me a goodbye kiss and cuddle so I am excited to see him. After that, I'll drive down to Bethany's house and chill with her and Brad. I'm very very much looking forward to it, because I don't get to see her as much as I'd like since she is a married, working woman now. And I am a busy 16 year old who has to, you know, go to school. Anyway, it's always good to see her because she really is like my big sister and we always get good food, and have nice talks. Hopefully Tuesday I'll go to the movies with Katja and then spend the night at her house. I focus a lot on Miko leaving, but I have to remember that next year, she will be back in Germany, and I will miss her, too.

Noooott talking about that...
Let's see, what else? It's been gorgeous outside and I am more thankful than ever for the warmth. Winter just seemed like a real drag this last time around. I booed it the whole time, and now that the sun is back to warming(and burning, but that's another story...) my whole self, I am a cheerful lady. Oh yeah! I also bought a whole bunch of warm-weather clothes that made me even MORE stoked! Cuteness plus warm temps equals all smiles from over here.

I have truly been noticing that I am becoming an adult more and more each day. I'm learning a lot about letting things go when need be. Not everything feels like a life-changing event, and I am figuring out how to deal with the things that are. Little steps that get me a little bit closer. Sometimes, when everything has a high suck level, I may not see those little steps that I'm taking, but as I look back I do see them and it's good to focus on how much they mean.

I feel like this is a really boring post, but since I don't have any readers I guess that is okay! Oh! I am wearing my new tat! It's this super fierce werewolf with luminous eyes and hands! I love it, so much. OH! And I have a new item that I JUST HAVE TO HAVE. It's called a FlipFlap and it's a Japanese stress-relieving pot of awesomeness. I must acquire one.

And now, I am off to NettyPot all my allergens away. HOT.

I need to quit knawing on my lip. Just sayin'.

I am so blessed.

I haven't blogged in too long, but I have a lot that's been going on and for whatever reason I haven't felt the need to put things into written words.
But here I go!!

Valentine's Day came and went and the few days before it, I was busy trying to suppress my disappointment with the fact Miko would be on a trip with his parents to Virginia for the weekend. Even though neither of us are all that invested in the holiday, it was still a little bit of a downer to know that I wouldn't even get to see him. Fortunately, my boyfriend is amazing and wonderful. :) He surprised me by coming straight to my house after he flew back in, and he had an orchid the size of a kindergartner with him. There I was, eating a plain yam at the kitchen table, when I see someone walking up the steps to my house. I felt so happy that almost exploded. A very good day.

More recently, my Mock Trial team, which I enjoy so so much, has become not only record-scoring district champs but state qualifiers to boot! We had regional competition this past Friday, and for the first time I was given the opportunity to take the stand against an attorney who, despite talking so slow I doubted her brain function, was actually pretty gritty. I got a chance to really use my brain and we won! I can't wait to milk my school for all the money it's worth in hotel and classy dining expenses. And the best part is, I get to keep wearing my professional adult clothes!!! Woowoo!

Hmmm, what else? I started running? That is worthy of blogging about I think. I've been running about two miles or so whenever time and the weather permits, and it's felt really good. I am still overcoming my issue with imagining what I've recently eaten looks like sloshing around in my belly, but the running is swell so far.
Track starts sometime this week which is very scary, but I am hopeful. Maybe I will throw discuss further than 16 feet this year! Considering my stick arms, I doubt it, but you never know! (Plus, it is fortunate that I actually COMPETE in running races and long jump. But discus is my ambition, I'm telling you!)

Today was a good day because I got to have Miko over and we had a lot of fun. He and Ethan and I built a huge fort in our living room and then we watched the Olympics and Whip It. Then, we ate way more ice cream than I normally would have, but when he is with me I label it "special occasion". Although, that is becoming a problem the more and more I'm allowed to see him.
Also:
MY DAD DOESN'T WANT TO LET US GO TO AMISH COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't mentioined it in this thing but I LOVE Amish Country. I love their outfits, and their work ethics, and their clotheslines, and their baked goods, and they're cheese/meat/apple butter, and their wooden items, and I love having picnics in their gazebos. It is positively my DREAM date. I have my outfit already picked out! And you know what, I WILL make out with my boyfriend there. Because I like kissing him. And I like Amish Country, and he won't be here to kiss for much longer.
SUCK ON THAT, DAD. SUCK ON THAT.

He (meaning my dad) has been particularly infuriating lately. The more he degrades and ignores my momma the more I would so love to send him out to live in a double wide somewhere sort of far away. I don't want to hurt him and I appreciate what he's been able to give me with his paycheck, truly I do. But I don't want to live with him. It is unfortunate, and it makes me so sad to say it, but it's true.

I am tired, so I'm going to go lay in my covers and think about my day. It was a good day.

P.S. I only ever blog before bed because that is really the only time I have the, well, time, (<---seemingly too many commas...) to sit around and do it. I just didn't want to make it feel like too much of a reoccurring theme. neways. Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Psha.